I Wrote This Post Almost Twenty Years Ago

June 26, 1988

Right now it's 2:09 in the morning. I've stayed up with [my cousin] John again. We've moved in with G-ma & G-pa. Were moving to West Jordan. I opened up a letter from Tiffany that she gave to me. I love Tiffany very much & I think she feels the same about me. At least that's the impression that I got from her letter. We had a testimony meeting at Youth Conference and she bore her testimony. I feel she is so strong in the church & in the gospel and it makes me feel really good. I don't know what to do about Kathy though. At times she feels very much against the church & at others she seems very interested. I don't understand it. Aaron is getting to be a very good friend & confidant. I feel that I can tell Aaron anything and not be hassled or critisized for it. I just get good advise. John is leaving Aug. 17 for Munich, W. Germany for his mission! I'm so excited for him. I've also gotten my Patriarical Blessing recently. I turn to it often for councel & Guidence. I don't know what else to write, I've got so much running through my head, When I sort some of it out, I'll write it down.

-Pete Dunn

I left the poor spelling, random capitalization and lack of paragraph breaks in tact. I hope you appreciate what a sacrifice that was on my part.

A few things of note here...

I was 14 in 1988.

I guess I never really got all my thoughts sorted out as it was more than 2 years between this and the next entry in my journal.

I remember vividly that this was the day my cousin John and I were in a pickup truck, moving furniture from our old house in Sandy when John leaned out the window and catcalled a girl from my school, "Looking good, whiteslice!" I bet I say that to Donna at least once a week and think of that day every time.

John did go to Munich. Then, about 3 months later came home.

Kathy never did join Mormonism despite my pattern of conversion attempts. I later reconnected with her in college and we became good friends with no pretense of religious conversion. She eventually married one of our professors.

Aaron and I haven't been in touch for years.

Oh, and my Patriarchal Blessing? A total load of templated horseshit.

Filed under - Misc

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Pete, Im really curious what

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on March 13, 2007 - 6:40pm.

Pete, Im really curious what made you think you had the spirit with you all this time as a teen and what made you second guess being a Mormon later on in life? It's the opposite for me. I wasnt a member of the church as a kid, raised in Utah no less. But once out of Utah I learned more about the church and joined the morg. Still go too, and can honestly say I feel something for the church. I respect your wishes to not be a member of the church, Id hope you would respect mine to be one. So keep the snarky comments :P Im just curious what happened to make you turn away from the church? and Im not here to try and save you, trust me there. I respect each person to have thier own opinions. Ive wanted to ask this for a while now, come out of lurking so to say. Staying anonymous for now. Hope you can respect that. I like reading your blog either way

Umm...

Submitted by Pete on March 13, 2007 - 7:09pm.

I was not as smart as a teen as I am as an adult?

Seriously though, I don't doubt that people feel something at church. That feeling they (and I) call(ed) The Spirit is not fake or pretend. It is, at times, manufactured or manipulated. What it is, for certain, is unreliable.

You see, Catholics feel that same burning in the bosom about their faith. Muslims feel it about theirs. As do Jews, Baptists and Methodists. As did the followers of Jim Jones, David Koresh and Charles Manson. Are they all right? Are they all wrong? Or is that feeling a lousy guide to the truth and any rightness or wrongness is a coincidence completely unrelated to the feeling?

No, I don't deny that I was really feeling something but a warm fuzzy about a well-crafted inspirational story isn't reliable as an indicator of truth. As a now-non-Mormon I often get that exact same feeling watching a movie or listening to a moving piece of music.

In other words, that feeling is just a feeling.

R E S P E C T

Submitted by Sara Sue on March 14, 2007 - 12:14am.

Pete,

The last two posts have really touched me. I am in awe at how open and raw you're leaving yourself here. You have my utmost admiration for leaving the errors in tact too! These are fantastic and I hope there are more pages you wish to share.

I can't leave without saying I loved your response to anon.

Just You Wait...

Submitted by Pete on March 14, 2007 - 9:35am.

Oh, there are a few more really choice entries left to share. Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins, just you wait.

You say what I think !

Submitted by English (not verified) on March 14, 2007 - 7:29am.

Pete, been visiting your site for about a month now. I'm an ex morm, married to a still active garment wearing member, and find so much of what you say resonates with me. Its incredibly therapeutic. Thanks.

You are providing a service. It get's kinda lonely out there, as I don't know anyone else in my poosition. (Ex, married to an active)

Cheers fella

Charity Never Faileth...

Submitted by Pete on March 14, 2007 - 9:34am.

This is, lately, exactly the sort of thing that get me out of bed in the morning.

Bummed...

Submitted by Tiggerlane (not verified) on March 15, 2007 - 9:30am.

You didn't elaborate on my doppleganger...so whatever happened to Tiffany?

You mean...

Submitted by Pete on March 15, 2007 - 10:45am.

You mean what happened with ME and Tiffany, I presume...

She had a thing for someone else, I moved away and a combination of a bunch of other things.