Ya I was a bishop's son. Never got anyone pregnant though.
Back in 1969, my grandfather was a Bishop in the Monument Park Stake on the very exclusive, very Mormon, east bench of Salt Lake City, Utah. This was at a time where there were only, believe it or not, eight stakes in the Salt Lake valley. In other words, everybody knew the family. They were high-profile and well-respected. To this day, I often meet people whom I've never met who know my grandfather and refer to him as "Bishop".
My mother was 19 at the time. My father, just a bit older. Of course, they weren't my mom and dad then. They were just two crazy kids in love... in love with sex. As a result, late in 1969, my older brother was conceived. There was just one thing missing... the ring.
Yep, my brother is a bastard. Well, except that in February 1970, my parents were rushed into an ill-fated marriage in order to save face for my mother's family among their friends, ward members, and colleagues. To this day, when my dad hears the word shotgun, he ducks.
I had no idea about any of this until, in the fifth grade, I was writing a report on my family for a school assignment.
"Mom, when is your wedding anniversary?"
"Feb. 5, 1970"
"1970? That's not right... Erik was born in August of 1970. That's only... 6 months."
-long, awkward pause-
"Yeah. We were married in 1970."
I was a math prodigy and this equation wasn't that difficult. Suddenly, so much of the life around me made sense. No wonder my dad felt trapped in our family. He was. No wonder my mother acted as if she were married to a man she didn't love. She was.
This memory came flooding back a few nights ago when I was quizzing Megan about her MSN Messenger buddy list.
"Who's on your list?"
"A bunch of friends."
"Did you meet them all in real life before you knew them online?"
"Yes, dad. They are all my friends."
"I don't know punkyprincess96. Who is she?"
"Dad, she's fine. She's the Bishop's daughter. It's not like she's going to get into any trouble."
UPDATE: I read this post live in February 2008
The Bishop's Daughter from Jon Deal on Vimeo.
Pete,
So glad to find your site--as I am sure many others are, too! I am in stitches laughing at the posts I've read so far. I found you via my Google search for Mormon Garments, go figure!
You see, my sister has become a Mormon, and I'm Jewish...So, knowing what she's talking about is unchartered territory for me. The other day on the phone she was talking about her boyfriend and the temple (should that be capitalized?) and garments and I was sitting there totally like "wtf, mates?"
Good thing I found your site! I love my sister dearly, and hey--who am I to judge someone for their religious beliefs, I keep kosher and do all kinds of "weird" things--but GARMENTS?!?!?! I thought she was talking about robes to wear in the temple, and that I sort of understood. Then when she told me you're supposed to wear them UNDER your clothes I really got confused...And since apparently she's turned into Little Miss Modesty since her conversion or whatever the hell you wanna call it, she didn't have the Thatchers to tell me that what she MEANT was underwear!!! Pfft...and I thought Jewish laws of tznius (modesty) were strict---at least I can wear my g-string and garter belt under my clothes!
Anyway, I'll be back. You're hilarious.
Shalom,
Hila
Yup, gotta agree with Pete here. It is only weird when you know nothing about it. Mormons have no idea how weird they are. Religion is silly bottom line.
Now back to my upside-down prayer to the flying spaghetti monster.
I feel bad for kids who get pegged and stamped due to religion (Or non-relgious affiliation) either way.
I guess I've known enough Bishop's kids who suck and Bishop's kids who were just as they seemed-good kids.
My goal: To have my kids look at the actions of their friends when determining who would be a good friend or not instead of labels like "Bishop's son" or "They aren't LDS".
I realize this makes me a bit of an odd duck in my part of the woods, though.
Kids are always the wild ones! In my old ward, the bishops daughter was knocked-up at 15. She was the Mia Maid president and I was her sinning 1st counselor. So much for divine inspiration.
My friend Kim was the Stake Presidents daughter and we ran wild. She and I would do this kissing thing... um, nevermind. You get the point.
did you miss me? eh..probably not.
as usual, you make me laugh out loud. literally.
You'd never expect anything to come from them and yes, they manage somehow...
My dad was called as a branch president of in Ohio a couple of months ago, does that make me a son-of-a-bishop now? LOL
Pete,
You can say that what I posted previously was like the pot calling the kettle black, but let me clarify:
My sister, my brothers, and myself were all raised Religious Science. We were encouraged to choose our own religions. I guess I just figured we'd all pick ones far more logical than LDS. Believe me, I don't agree with all the tenants of Judaism, and I don't feel that I have to. That being said, I follow the commandments because I WANT to, not because I fear that God will smite me if I don't.
The reason I find it so absurd that my sister chose LDS is that she does not agree with so much of what the church teaches. She has no problem with homosexuality, does not believe that you have to be Mormon to go do Heaven, and she sure as hell won't be baptizing any of our dead relatives. I already told her that if I die before she does and thinks she'll baptize my "lost soul" I'll write it in my will that she's not to be allowed within 100 yards of my funeral.
To each his own, I say. But my sister is so intelligent, I just can't see how she'd pick LDS...At least I picked a religion that has historical backup!
I know exactly what you were saying. It seems like you're just saying the same thing again. Let me see if I've got it right...
You belong to a religion you don't believe in fully. It has some out-there tenets including a nutty dietary code, strict commandments about dress, hair, speech, etc. Nevertheless, you don't quite understand why your otherwise intelligent sister would choose basically exactly the same thing.
Right?
Here's my deal. From an objective place there is exactly no difference between what you describe about your sister and what you describe about yourself. One kookie set of traditions and superstitions smells about the same as another from where I stand.
I'm sure you're a lovely, witty, intelligent person. I don't mean to defame or insult you in any way. I'm just saying that if you're going to have your nutty faith, you ought to at least understand your sister's attraction to her own.
I also found myself pregnant without being married. But instead of forcing me into marriage, which was my first idea, a social worker from LDS Social Services convinced my mother, and because of the tremendous guilt, myself, that it would be better to let the baby be adopted by a nice mormon couple. After all, I couldn't be a good mother because I hadn't been married in the temple. Long story made short, they stole my first born. They lied and brainwashed and cheated me out of my boy. They did such a number on me that it was years before I finally realized that having sex was normal and if the church would've been more concerned with sex ed., then maybe it wouldn't have happened at all.
Thanks for your blog,
Deb
Home | About | Fresh Fiddley | iBlog | Buy Swag | Archive | Search | Contact | Blogroll | BLOW | Mobile | Login/Register
Yeah, me too. My parents were married in Carson City, Nevada in February of 52 and "blessed" with me in September of 52...hmmm. As a much-younger-than-I-am-now adult I learned that (at least) 4 out of 7 siblings on my father's side had to get married. Can you imagin, considering my great grandfather (times four I think) was the first presiding bishop of the church?
I bought into the whole Mormon thing, or at least tried to. On the bright side though, I was the most sexually satisfied virgin until I was 19. It took me 2 hours before the Saturday night dance (remember those?) to talk my long-haired, non-mormon boyfriend into "finishing". Best decision I ever made besides leaving the church 10 years later. Yeah, I'm a slow learner. Better late than "forever"!