Oh my god, I just stumbled on your site. I am from MA, and it makes me feel like I have stumbled on a parallel universe. Honestly, your wife sounds crazy, but then again, all Mormons seem crazy. I have only met one Mormon family, they had 9 kids, which is a lot, but then again there are plenty of Irish Catholics where I live, so the quantity of children in MA is not necessarily weird. Also, the shadiest governor ever, Mitt, hung out for a while with his perfect stepford family. creepy.
Seriously, I would divorce your wife and move your kids far far away from Utah. god, is she still wearing those terrifying undergarments? sexy!
dude, Joseph Smith read the scripture out of tophat on gold plates. wtf. how are there any Mormons, god people are dumb. Anyway, I love your site, it is very entertaining in a sociological way, I feel like I get to surreptitiously learn about a foreign culture. I wish you happiness!

Pete (can I call you Pete?):

On behalf of all non-Mormons who didn't used to be Mormon, I apologize for that previous post. Augghgghgghghghg I suppose I shouldn't apologize for someone who is obviously a little off.....I found your site a while back and though I admit I'm no fan of the LDS church...and I live in southern Salt Lake County so that's kind of like livin' around the point of the mountain if you know what I mean...I have some great neighbors (some not) and I grew up around LDS culture in another state and have been having HUGE adjustments since I moved to Utah nonetheless, so I chuckle when I read most of your posts. They make me feel like I'm not alone.

You and Donna hang in there. She is pretty special from what I can tell from your postings. I see your side but as a wife who goes to a church and whose husband won't go (though a different one) and have kids I see her side too.

P.S. My husband homebrews. He's pretty good too!

Cheers.

I thought that after I posted...to late. Thanks.

I'm hesitant to respond to some of your latest posts now that Donna reads your blog... It's hard to be tactful and it's also easy to imagine either one of you reading the comments and pouncing on them... "See! They think I'M right!" "No! This one says I'M right!" ...etc., ad nauseum. But thanks to MGB ("Much Ganga, Brutha"?) I'm much less worried about it now. Anything I might say would have tough competition with his particular brand of crazy. wow.

So here goes... On the one hand, as a woman I can tell you with much personal experience that it's difficult (if not impossible) for women to feel that criticism of their ideas isn't, in fact, a personal attack. So I see Donna's point. But on the other hand, I thought your original post on the racism topic to be incredibly thoughtful, insightful and (as always) startlingly well-written. I loved it. So I see your point.

My point is: Keep writing. Please. And thank you.

P.S. Also, it seems you've found a way to give the thread a giant yank by blogging about it. Did it work?

GREAT PHOTOS!!! I love the new section!

Pete (or, whoever):
I once said: do you really want to live the next 40 years in this "I'm right, you're wrong" scenario?"
Well, I know so well where you and Donna are coming from. It's been 40 years for me. My husband and I are soulmates, love each other passionately and intellectually. But there will always be this 'thing' between us. His Church. The Mormon Church. All you can do is agree to disagree, as lame as that sounds. I believe that when Jesus said 'love one another' he meant it. Love is everything. Real love means putting the other's well being first and allowing them to believe what they want, even if it is alien to you. Sure, you could leave, divorce, break up your family. But when love is involved, it simply isn't that easy.
So, just figure out whatever works for the two of you.

Dear Donna,

About a week ago I discovered your husband's blog. I read many of his past entries, and have returned every day since.

I can't say that I've enjoyed reading it. However, I will say that I'm always interested. I find him to be a good writer, funny, and in general... a good guy trying to do good things.

I'm especially interested in his take on life, because I too am the active Mormon wife of a former Mormon. My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years. We have one son. I knew of his falling away from the church before we married. We've both made compromises in our marriage but so far its working great.

For the most part, we don't talk about religion. He comes to church with me on Sunday and reads a book. And every once in awhile we have conversations about this subject or that... but most of the time we agree to disagree.

We've also agreed to not fight about our beliefs, but to discuss them respectfully. We've talked about "racism in the church" and discussed the very topics your huband brought up in his previous post.

I found the following websites to be particularly informative on the subject. Sites run by black LDS members who know full well the history of the church. Who don't "simply dismiss" what Brigham Young said about them, yet who still remain faithful.

http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/blackmormon/homepage.html
http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/blackmormon/history.html
http://www.ldsgenesisgroup.org/

Anyway, I didn't intend to address that post here, even though I realize I just did.

My intent was to tell you that I don't think you should play dumb.

While I think there are some things that can go without being said... I think some things need to be discussed. And if his writing this blog every day... and writing about these subject matters every day is troubling to you... I think you should talk about them. Talk about them in a civil way. No yelling. No shouting. And after some heated discussion... you may find that you'll agree to disagree. But at least you won't be bottling up your emotion. At least he'll know where you stand and how you feel when he writes what he writes.

But it is important that both of you come away agreeing to disagree.

I know I always feel better when I tell my husband what's on my mind. We don't always see eye to eye... but at least I come away feeling like he cares enough to try and understand.

And somewhere in the back of his mind I'm sure my husband thinks that I just don't want to "yank on the threads that might unravel the whole sweater".

But by bringing things out in the open, I also hope that he doesn't think that I'm simply defending things in the name of "religious zeal". I hope he knows that I'm a thoughtful person. That I read things. That I understand things. And that I'm willing to talk about difficult things with him, because they are important to me. I wish he understood faith the way I understand it. But we've boiled it down to agreeing to disagree on that subject.

Sorry to take up so much space. I think you are a fantastic woman. Your husband has said so many wonderful and kind things about you here. I hope he can find a way to agree to disagree with you in a kind and respectful way. Be brave. Be informed. Be honest. And I'm around if you ever want to talk. Your husband should have my email address.