I remember eating the instant potato pearls that our family got from the cannery. They looked like lawn fertilizer pellets and tasted about the same.
After G'ma passed away we got a portion of her food storage. I've never seen so much wheat in my life. God help you if you ever open a bucket that is infested with bull weevil.
Uh oh...I just noticed the Yellow Dye #5 is in the ingredient list. I remember hearing a rumor about that making you impotent.
Maybe you could take a can of it down to your local park and dump it in the fountain and turn it yellow.
Have you tried any yet? I'll bet it tastes like the "fruit punch" mix they used to stick in the MREs back when I was in the service.

You so lucky. It reminds me of the time when I was about 10 and my mom did a day of volunteer work at the Deseret Cannery with the rest of the Valley View 3rd Ward women. She brought home a hulking case of chili con carne as a reward for her efforts. Just tin cans of chili with a label: CHILI. (This was before they required ingredient and nutrition content labels).
We ate that chili till we couldn't look at it anymore. To this day I can't eat canned chili. Which is fine, because homemade is so easy and tastes a damn site better!