When I tried to talk to Claire the next morning he reminded me, with all the warmth of Wilford Brimley telling me to eat my goddamned oatmeal, that I was early and that he had no use for me until the following day. I had...

I arrived in Marble Canyon, Arizona on Saturday night, more than two full days before Tuesday morning's scheduled launch of our eight-day river trip through the Grand Canyon. I came early because Roger, the uncle who...

Alrighty, folks. I made it back from my Grand Canyon adventure. I have tons of stories to tell and a vermillion-and-a-half pictures to post. I have that many blisters on my feet and hands too. Oh, did I mention bug bites?...

These are the kinds of parades we have around our house.

Well folks... I'm leaving town and all civilization as we know it,

I've been letting Megan play around with the new camera a little bit. She needed a model so I showed her my patented look, "Daddy...

A coworker justifiably outed me as a beer snob today when I scoffed at the idea of drinking beer from a can. It was then that I sheepishly admitted to buying beer fram a grocery store. And not just any beer... an

"Do you really need to take your water purifier with you?"

"I'll have you know, if I don't drink enough water on my...

Uh oh. I've put myself in a bit of a pickle.

A couple weeks ago a brewed a special batch of beer made with, among other things, Deseret Brand dried apples. Church Apple Cream Ale, I'm calling it.

It brewed up...

Dear Asshole,

This is why I'm the asshole who calls the cops when you use illegal fireworks in my neighborhood.