What about camping farts? Or I-just-had-my-colon-scoped-and-the-air-is-really-backed-up farts?
"I decided earlier that I was never going to fart in front of you any more."
"Oh yeah?"
"But I changed my mind just now while you were going to the bathroom."
"That seems fair."
"More than fair, I'd say."
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Whoa...I couldn't make that promise. EVAH. What about sleeping farts? Or farts when you are sick?