What A Headache

A bleary-eyed Donna stumbled into the kitchen and with a quizzical look declared, "My mouth just went totally numb. Like I've been at the dentist."

Donna's fruit allergies often cause this symptom and usually a Claritin will clear things up right away and get her back to her favorite fruits. She's particularly fond of bananas. I happen to find them repulsive but it is fabulous to watch her put the entire length of one all the way in her mouth and slowly eat it.

I found an antihistamine in the basket over the sink. You know the basket I mean, the one with the empty box of Care Bear Band-Aids and three-years-expired baby suppositories. But the usual instant result didn't come. Moreover, Donna hadn't had a bite to eat.

I immediately thought back to a couple years ago when Donna first started complaining of a chronic numbness in her wrist. A series of MRI's, blood tests and examinations revealed nothing then and eventually the symptoms subsided. The look on Donna's face at this moment told me she was thinking the same thing.

"Don't worry about it", I told her as I kissed her goodbye for work. But I was worried.

A few hours later my phone beeped. A text message.

"My mouth is numb again."

"Go to the doctor", I responded.

She made an appointment for as soon as she could. Two o'clock. Four hours later. Between then and the appointment she had some errands to run, including a stop at the junior high school to drop some gym clothes off to our oldest daughter.

"Megan says I look really tired. Even if I wanted to keep my doctor's appointment, I don't think I should drive there", was the next message.

A bit later, "My mother tells me I'm slurring my speech. I made it to the doctor's office. I'm feeling really emotional right now. Fifteen dollars for the visit. I hope it's a waste of money."

It was about now I figured I ought to leave the office. Though it's usually Donna who I count on to keep me from fainting in these situations. But before I could wrap up the task at hand, another message came.

"Good news, I've lost twenty-four pounds since April. It's in my records, so it's official. Oh, also... he's pretty sure I'm just having a migraine."

And so, just like that, and an ibuprofen/asprin cocktail later, all was well.

Though I can't help but think that fifteen bucks would have bought a really kick-ass pumpkin latte americano with a double shot of espresso like I would have prescribed for a migraine in the first place. If only my education hadn't been three semesters of musical theater study and had been eight years of medical school instead.