Everything I Needed To Know I Learned In Primary

Being brought up Mormon left me naive about important things like the difference between an americano and a latte. Or proper beer bong technique. But my upbringing on the fringes of American religion did teach me some valuable lessons.

For example; if the charismatic, bearded leader of your congregation on an isolated ranch in {fill in the name of a western state here} claims that he is the resurrected Jesus. Or even if he claims to get text messages from Jesus. There's a good chance he's trying to have sex with your under-age daughter.

But don't take my word for it. It happens all the time. Seriously. All the time. So much.

Filed under - Misc | Mormonism

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Hi there

Submitted by MP (not verified) on May 8, 2008 - 11:08am.

I'm so glad you found me so I could find you.
Thanks for the comment..YOU SAID: I want to be loved and respected for sharing my innermost secrets in a snarky and sassy way. Do I actually need a uterus to get that?

The answer is NO you don't.

I can't believe you are able to be married to a practicing mormon.. Holy cow. My SIL converted and now her 19 year old horny step daughter is getting married because the only other option was to break up.. OMG I have so bookmarked you.

How?

Submitted by Pete on May 8, 2008 - 11:57am.

It's probably been much harder for her, honestly. Not because of Mormonism but because of the regular reasons it's hard to be married to anyone.

The get married because you're horny and 19 or break up and be single dilemma certainly is a familiar and interesting one though.

While I appreciate your

Submitted by Donna on May 8, 2008 - 11:44am.

While I appreciate your opinion. You made me sound like I am dirt under Pete's feet. This i am not!

I rock at beer pong probably

Submitted by The Benevolent Dictator (not verified) on May 8, 2008 - 4:59pm.

I rock at beer pong probably because I was brought up Catholic.